Time for a Confession

I have a confession to make. I have been struggling lately. Struggling with my plan to make quilting a successful business. Struggling to define what success means to me. Wondering if this is just a serious — seriously expensive — hobby. Wondering if it will be, or can be, more.

When I first starting blogging a little over a year ago I had no real plan for my blog. I saw it as a way to reach out to other quilters who like the same types of fabrics and designs that I do. I was so excited when I saw there was a community of people who liked brighter colors, contemporary prints, and  modern designs and I wanted to be a part of that community.

Leaving my corporate job almost 2-1/2 years ago was definitely one of the best decisions I have ever made. Most people in my life have since commented that I am like a different person – happier, calmer, less stressed. My youngest son told me that I smile a lot more now.

It became a natural progression then to try to make a little money doing something that I enjoyed so much and that allows me to be me. A creative, smiling, more peaceful, happier me. I jumped in, bought a new machine, applied for a business license, set up wholesale accounts with a few suppliers and started quilting. I worked on my blog, opened an Etsy store, and became an affiliate for Craftsy. And in the process of doing this I have spent a lot of money. I have made a little money. I think I have this backwards.

Even while doing all this work, doubt was eating away at me. Quietly, but always there. The amount of negative talk that goes on in my mind astounds me some times. While dealing with all this inner turmoil, I have still been trucking along. I have hidden well all my doubts – no one knows, until now,  how I have questioned myself and the decisions I have made.

Over the last couple of months I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, praying, and having a lot of discussions with my husband ( who should be called Saint Mike for dealing with me daily!)  And after all this time I have finally found the missing component, the one thing that will make Cooking Up Quilts successful.

Belief.  

I do not believe I can make quilting a profitable business.

What did I just say??? You heard me. All this time, doing all this work, and I have never really believed I would be able to make it work.

My husband believes in me. My sister believes in me. Heck, even her friends believe in me. I am the only one who didn’t really trust and believe in myself.

Once I realized what was missing, it was like a bomb exploded in me. Wow! I didn’t believe in myself! Is it any wonder that I am going nowhere fast?

When you need something to believe in,

I am finally ready to admit I am at a crossroads. It is time to either let go and dive in to this quilting thing head first, or go back to my day job. I absolutely do NOT want to go back to work in a corporate setting. I cannot say that loudly or strongly enough.

It is time for me to believe. It is time to let go of the fear, and of the doubt. It is time to believe in myself, in my skills, and in my ability. Most of all, it is time to stand tall and be proud of who I am and what I do.

Believe in Yourself

I am truly committed to believing in myself and where I can go with this quilting adventure. It has taken me a while to figure all this out, but now that I am truly ready I don’t want to let the doubts and negativity have any place to live in my head. I know this is what I am supposed to be doing at this time in my life.

So, to remind me of this promise to believe in myself I have made this mini for my sewing room.

Believe Mini FMQ Wall Hanging

It is nothing fancy, and didn’t take me long to do but it is so very me. When I walk into my sewing room each morning, I will see it and be reminded I have a purpose and a passion to fulfill. I am a very visual person and this little quilt will be the visual cue I need when I start to waver or have a difficult day.  It is hanging above my machine and will be the first thing I see when walking into the room.

I am so excited to get up each morning and see what the day brings now. I can’t wait to share it all with you!

 

 

 

 

 

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About Beth

I'm a wife, mother of two, and lover of all things crafty. I love to cook up new things in the kitchen and in my craft room, and sometimes get "licking the spoon" mixed up with "licking the fabric"!!
This entry was posted in Let's Talk, Mini Quilts and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Time for a Confession

  1. Hello Beth,

    Just think of all the quilting practice you have put in over the past year and think of it as an apprenticeship, which will make you a far better quilter in the long run. The mini is great. It is important to make something just for yourself as a reminder that you really can do it.

    Thank you for linking up with Free Motion Mavericks!

    Love, Muv

  2. Pingback: Checkered Past – Finished Flimsy |

  3. Susan says:

    You’ve talked yourself right over to where you need to be! You’ve gotten this far, you can’t go backward now. =) I believe in you, too. You are tremendously creative, intelligent, and gifted with insight and inspiration. Keep your eye on the goal you want to achieve. You’ll make it!

  4. Jasmine says:

    I think recognizing what you felt and thinking more positively is a big step. I believe in you. And like Yvonne wonder what your goals are.

  5. I believe in you!! You’re an incredibly talented lady and if anyone can do it, its you!!

  6. Kathy Hoback says:

    Beth – you just need to fully commit to your decision and don’t look back. Focus all your attention on what you hope to achieve and forget the other choices. You can’t straddle the fence and be successful.

  7. salmagundi says:

    Go for it! It always helps to translate thoughts into words. Set some goals, and congratulate yourself each day for accomplishments. Sally

  8. fancyfootfarm says:

    Good for you Beth! I admire your determination to figure this out and make your dreams come true. Your work is beautiful, and you can do it!

  9. Thank you for being brave enough to share what has been going on behind the scenes, Beth. It can be so hard get our inner voices off repeat sometimes, and writing down our doubts is another hard process (let alone publicly sharing them!). I am so glad you have such a wonderful support network, and I hope you continue to believe in yourself and your quilting. 🙂

    If you don’t mind me asking, what are your goals for a quilting business? Custom quilts, custom quilting, all of the above, something else? I know that one of the things I struggle with in terms of trying to make (a bit) of money at quilting is having concise enough goals that I can focus on that one thing enough to excel at – or at least those have been my thoughts lately!

  10. melissa says:

    Amen sister! I have found that if you truely truely want something in your life that will better it and you pray for wisdom, strength and guideance IT will happen! I’m so proud of you Beth! We all tend to second guess ourselves at some point, but your work it only getting better and that one little nitch that was holding you back, kick it in the hind end and run with your dream!

  11. Anne Beier says:

    We all go through this from time to time. I admire your stick-to-itive-ness. and don’t let the negative self talk get to you.

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